Scattered thoughts

Have you ever thought about how you actually get created as a human being?

Me,I believe that the process of creating yourself is what is important,more than finding yourself.Life is not about that destiny so many of us choose to believe in.Life has no greater meaning,there is no deeper idea behind the simple thought of existance.

We come.We go.We die.

We may not have anything to say about the first one,but the way that we choose to do the other two says more about ourselves than we think.And it is here that things get to the point of being "not so simple anymore".

Okay,the thing is,we come alone.There is no vulcanic feeling of belnging,there is no magic in being held by two pairs of arms or feeling a certain person's warmth.No.Because,seriously,what does a litte baby know about all of that?Nothing poetic about this,is there?

To me,the most important thing is that which is stuck between the two ones we have nothing much to say about.Our actions and thoughts are what makes us matter,because after that,there is no guarantee of a great perhaps.There may not be anything left.Not even the darkest darkness there ever was.Just nothingness.So maybe we should make our existance matter as much as we can.

Life is simply what we make it.There are a lot of factors that influence our development,but let me tell you the story I once read.There were two brothers who only lived with their alcoholic father.One of them became successful and never drank alcohol because he said that he has seen enough of it with his father.Meanwhile,the other one became just as lame as the drunken father and put the blame on this being the only thing he had ever seen happen in his family.

What is the lesson behind this?There is no excuse for the way we become.We are the only ones that can choose where we go,because,well,we are the only ones that have the power to do anything about ourselves.We are a summ of everything that defines us-the movies we watch,the people we talk to,the emotions we have,the books we read,the songs that we listen,the things we surround ourselves with,and all the other little things.In fewer words,every little action and thought is a big part of our own future and life.

However,many people seem to realise this kind of things,but there is just nothing they can do.Those are usually the people that are broken.And no matter how much we want to fool ourselves in believing we can make a difference and just "fix" a person.No,that is something you simply cannot do,because you cannot even completly fix an object once it's been broken or scattered or thorn,people are even a lot more complex than that.You may have met,or maybe it is you,someone who just doesn't fit.Someone that laughs way too hard at nothing.Someone who tries waaay too hard to enjoy everything.Someone who acts like there is nothing good enough too be taken seriously.And maybe,just maybe,you actually know or notice or suppose what is really inside that person-they're just not well,they always have tears in their eyes.You ask them what's wrong?Well,there is actually one good answer for that,which makes it every time- 'I am just tired.' or 'Oh,yeah,I just need some sleep'.The thing is,maybe they aren't even trying to lie to you,they are simply trying to fool themselves into feeling better.It hurts a lot to do that,believe it or not.You always have that empty feeling in your guts,you never can let people in because you are too afraid of falling,since they are always going to let you down or leave you at some point.You are angry and miserable all the time without a reason,and you try so hard to change,but there is no point.

You may be asking why I said that,considering the begining of this post.Well,I believe that you should know that there isn't ever going to be anyone there to catch you from falling or heal your wounds.You just have to accept yourself,try to love yourself and live with yourself,because noone else has to do that.You should always keep in mind the nice things of life and enjoy things as they are,because nothing is for granted and nothing is eternal.

The one thing we are all sure about is death.We all go down at some point.Some have a word to say in that,but most of us just go down fighting-our own demons,evil people or even diseases,but we mostly go down fighting.Truth is,however,there is no honour in death.It is something meant to be.We all come and go,we will all be forgotten at some point,and that is that.Live your life for today and for yourself because you aren't going to get a second chance

Make the best out of everything and never give up.You are either porcelain,ivory or steel,and you are going to go through all of these stages in life,so hang in there as long as you can.

Love always,

Me.