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"I was here" by Gayle Forman -- book review



Goodreads page: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23507628-i-was-here



My rating: 5/5 



What it's about:
The story follows our heroine Cody after her best friend Meg's suicide.Cody and Meg have been best friends since early childhood,yet after Meg commits suicide,Cody comes to the conclusion that maybe she's never known Meg at all.
Cody doesn't only try to get to know the side of Meg that she's never seen and look for some answers about the dead girl's secret life,but she also finds out things about herself along the way that maybe she's never even known where there.



Thoughts on the book:
I don't think I have enough words to describe how brilliant this was.
I've been highly anticipating this book ever since it was firrst announced,I think.I've been expecting to adore it and have been waiting for it to arrive for what feels like forever,but in the time it took for it to be delivered,I've seen some reviews that made me question if,once read,the book would actually get to the level of my (terrifyingly high) expectations.
It did.
There where oh-so many things that I loved so much about this book that I don't even know where to start.I guess the idea of it was what first caught my attention,the story of loved ones trying to get on with their life once someone close dies is something that I felt like would be quite an interesting read.There aren't enough books these days that deal with subjects so important like suicide and depression and this might be why this book 'called' to me.As one of the characters mentions at one point (and Gayle Forman emphasises in the acknowledgements),everyone's mind goes to a dark place at one point or another,some people just go there more often and they go further into the darkness than others.I,for one,have been struggling with what my psychologist mother and school counselor agreed was a sort of ugly (as if it could be otherwise) form of depression.Now that,mixed with my everpresent anxiety,led to my thoughts going into a dark place more often than not.And I'm talking about an insane amount of time.Now that's been going on (and still sort of is,if I'm to be honest the entire way),but this book made it both go there more (because it obviously makes you want to think about thinking about those things,if that makes any sense) and get to the conclusion that I need to get some distance between me and that dark place.
Meg,the suicide girl,was incredibly built as a character.I tended to empathise with her a lot and as the story progressed,I did the same with Cody.I enjoyed reading about Cody's confusion regarding Meg's act,the feeling of being unable to understand how she wouldn't open up to anyone about it,not her best friend or her family.I just found that being pretty realistic.Both Meg and Cody as characters were greatly complex and maybe a little like the two sides of the same coin,their relationship is so special and unique.
Obviously now,the secondary themes in the book can't be ignored either.I loved how big of a part of this family was.We get quite a diversity when it comes to the families presented throughout the novel,there are the Garcias,Meg's family,who deal with the loss and stay together,not only being presented as Meg and her little brother's parents,but also like something close to Cody's adoptive ones.Then there are Tricia and Cody,somehow disfunctional,but always making things work and clearly loving each other,ignoring the father who never wanted them nor was he wanted by them.There is Richard's family who is big and happy.There is Ben's family who isn't even really much of a family.This just gave the world so much more dimension and made it more realistic.
I was mainly afraid of the romantic aspect ruining the entire book for me (because I am such a bitter person who resents love,get over it).It didn't.I actually liked the interractions between the two characters and although I found the scene of the deed a little rushed,maybe,I didn't disapprove or dislike them together or just want to die or scratch my eyeballs out of my head whenever they had scenes together.It all flowed nicely.
This is probably insanely rambly,but,what can I say,"my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."
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