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Books and I

I think you sort of know by now how asbolutely and hopelessly obsessed I am with books and everything they mean.It's always been this way and it really got to the point where it is pretty much unhealthy.But that's just how I roll.
I have this thing,when it isn't even up to me whether I like a book or not,it's more like the book speaks to me.I know it sound cheesy and metaphorical and all that,but it's true.I mean,I just pick a book and we become connected.
It's not only about reading the book,there is an entire process that tires me emotionally,but it is all worth it.
After I finally manage to decide on what book I am going to read,I really have to see how the book fits around my others.I love just feeling the pages,contemplating the covers and the illustrations and everything like that.There is also the smell of new books,that makes my heart fills up with the pures of joy.On the other hand,it sometimes happens to me to get a random book from my mom's library and it's old and smells like rust and mold and sadness and I just feel so sorry for it that I can't even focus on what the book is about.
Anyway.
If the book is good,I usually just feel it from the very begining.I believe in love at first page.I get this kind of rush,and I can't put the book down.I can't get away from it.However,it's obvious that I often try to do that,but I kind of end up either picking it up again and again or I just keep thinking about it and nothing else,until I sort of get stuck in it and it smarts to make my head hurt and it makes me feel numb and hungry and I just eat a lot of chocolate if my book is not around me.But soon after,I just go back to reading it like a pro,not moving,just laying in bed with the book and reading and reading and reading.This is only until I finally finish the book,and it often happens that the end is pretty vague and there is hopefully going to be a sequel,so I just kind of die inside,and keep thinking about it and get even weirder than usual,so I am just into my shell,hiding under a cover(actually about 100 sheets),looking for fan art or stuff on tumblr,trying to avoid spoilers and stuff like that.
I actually am like that right now,just trying not to get even more frustrated after reading something that turned me upside down(cough cough 'Insurgent').So not only tons of my favourite character die,but it all ends as a cliff hanger and I need the last book in the trilogy,but I have read a major spoiler on Tumblr that made my heart bleed to death and I don't think I am emotionally ready for that.Darn.Too many feels when it comes to fiction,too few of them when it comes to life.
Anyway,books just make me that way.I don't even know.
Is it just me?
Love always,
Me. 

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